I got an email from OkCupid:
He is checking you out right now! We're letting you know because he's an exceptionally good match. You should check him out too.
I did.
“I don't really believe that a websites is the way for me, but just in case, I'm here. Single or not I going to enjoy the time I have on this earth and would enjoy a sweetheart to go with it. Little more about me, always smiling and like to make the people around me that way too. enjoy good movies at home and going out eating some good food. I'm not picky with food. I don't want to miss out on something good. I rather eat something bad and miss out on something that great. Imagine if you never eating a cinnabon because you thought it look bad. Then just before you die a person stuff it in your mouth and the thought in your mine is that I love this and I miss out. “
If you have ever tried online dating, you have likely been perplexed by a computer’s reasoning. I have come across so many unbelievably odd profiles that my friends are no longer interested in living vicariously through my sexy singledom. My friends no longer want to listen as I sputter aghast into the phone, divulging to them the profane rambling that passes for online flirting. Yet I still have to read this shit.
And that’s how we ended up here. I have been doing the online dating thing for a year now. I came into it determined to give every guy the benefit of the doubt and as long as they could pull off the appearance of not being a serial killer I went out with anybody that asked. It’s not a method that I would necessarily advocate, but the experience has paid off.
When I clicked through to the link OkCupid had sent me and read:
“I assume my looks got you to look at my profile, glad you like it. I hope my profile keep you interested.”
I couldn’t decide whether I was more offended by the assumption that I came because of his looks, the grammar in the second sentence, or the fact that the computer determined him to be an exceptionally good match. What I did decide, is that I am not going to suffer this quietly anymore.
Now, clearly this man is not for me. He lists his favourite movie as “Hitch” and “my dick” as one of the six things he can’t live without. The scary thing is that a year ago, I may have considered that he might improve in person. Today I know that taste matters to me. Today I know that if a man cannot recognize the difference between the words “mine” and “mind”, nor take the time to read over his presentation for some kind of cohesive accuracy when he is advertising himself for the first time as a potential suitor that the doubt is warranted.
This is what I am dealing with. This is an exceptionally good match. So this is what I’m proposing: If you can show enough initiative to get your profile to the point where am only appalled by your poor taste and questionable cockiness, I might see a way to “eat something bad and miss out on something that great.”
